THE GAME

'Twas a really tight ballgame...the other team's ahead by a point...you get the inbound pass with just 6 seconds to play...you go top of the key to attempt a 3-pointer...then you see an open man right under the basket ready for an easy 2-pointer...the crowd goes wild...their roar fills the stadium...you see yourself being carried by your team after you nail this 3-pointer...the winning basket...you look at the open man under the basket waving his arms like crazy frantically begging you to pass him the ball...no way man...the crowd goes even wilder...their shouts now more defeaning than ever...this is your moment...your winning moment...and then...

buzzzzzzzzz...! 

Time's up! Game over! What the...Now the crowd goes berserk...you quickly duck as a chair is hurled towards you...but you never even saw the Gatorade that floored you...and then you see yourself being carried by your team...on a stretcher...

SELLING LIFE INSURANCE

Selling life insurance is not the easiest job in the world. Believe me. I sold life insurance before. Imagine this... there you are seated on the sofa talking with your prospects, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. To break the ice, you tell them how much you admire them for being very responsible and loving parents. You tell them how lucky little Tommy is for having such wonderful and loving parents. And Mr. and Mrs. Smith smilingly agree with you. Yes! A buying signal! Good work! You're on a roll...You keep emphasizing how much they love Tommy...how much they really love their only child...You see tears in Mrs. Smith's eyes...Great! You've talked to their emotions! You open your proposal, an endowment plan that would earn dividends and build a fund for little Tommy... Mr.Smith likes the numbers he sees...Mr. Smith looks into Mrs. Smith's eyes and you can see they're buying... THEY ARE BUYING! You give them a pen... and just as they were about to sign, you opened your mouth one more time and said :" And if little Tommy dies..."                         

You should've seen the horror in Mrs. Smith's eyes...But you couldn't have because Mr. Smith was already escorting you out the door...Loser!

FUNNY ADS

Some ads can be funny sometimes:

"Loan to Pay Off Debt"... how's that? You get a loan to pay off another loan? I dunno... And my girlfriend thinks "Debt Consolidation" means she can forward me all her credit card bills and I "Pay Off her Credit Card Debt"...hmmm? Babe, I love you...but I don't love you that much! And Babe, forget about "Wealth Management" coz there's no way I'm gonna let you manage MY wealth! Go find your own wealth to manage...

TEAMWORK

Teamwork would've been great except there's still "work" in it...try TEAMPLAY instead.

DEBT CONSOLIDATION vs WEALTH MANAGEMENT

Nowadays, people are six times more concerned with "DEBT" than they are with "WEALTH"! Need proof? Go to GOOGLE Search-Based Keyword Tool. Type "DEBT" and note the result. Now, type "WEALTH" and note the result. Result shows 100,000 monthly searches for "DEBT CONSOLIDATION" vs just 15,000 for "WEALTH MANAGEMENT". Signs of the times?

HEAVEN-O?

The devil sure is one smart guy. Think about it ...everyday, practically everybody says HELL-o. Maybe we should start saying HEAVEN-o. What do you think?

CATARACT SURGERY

I sure am glad I'm not a spider...with the cost of cataract surgery these days, I can't imagine how much eight eyes will cost me.

BANKRUPTCY

I recently broke off with my girl. A real material girl. Her credit card purchases brought me to the brink of bankruptcy. A near-DEBT experience. Now, I only pray there is Life-After-DEBT.

CASH OUT

I found an old Reader's Digest article dated April of 2005 : "Never Run Out of Cash". As I was reading it I told myself, "But I never run out of cash! It's the Cash that keeps running out of me!"

PROACTIVE

If you see somebody walking on a hot sunny day wearing a raincoat, don't mind him...he's just being PROACTIVE.

TELEMARKETING

Saw my not-so-smart buddy with a phone inside the fridge... says he's doing COLD CALLS today.

MISCOMMUNICATION

Four telecommunications executives got together to discuss plans of organizing a beauty contest. After three long hours, they never got to agree on anything...and the "MISS COMMUNICATION" project was eventually scrapped.